It'd Suck to Big Spoon Rapunzel

So sometimes in life you come to a crossroads. Now I'm not talking a BIG LIFE CHOICE like do I want to go to med school or law school, or BIG LIFE CHOICE do I want to ask person x out, or even BIG LIFE CHOICE will I be terrified out of my mind if I watch Jurassic Park. And then you angst. Just a little bit. Not like Harry in Potter Puppet Pals "Wizard Angst." More like general pout inducing frustration, like my dry erase board marker is out of ink, or I forgot to water my plant again.

So what is my current cause of spooning angst? My hair.

You see, I have WAY too much hair. And I have to admit, I love it. It makes me feel princess-y, and it's supa fun to brush it. I feel like the perfect curly haired barbie I always wanted. I was never satisfied with their inferior lustrousness and bounce of their fake curls, and I feel like mine has hit that place Barbie was never able to reach. It's swishy and happy and fun, not too curly, not too straight. To quote one of my favorite children's stories, it's what Goldilocks would call "just right."

I promise, this isn't just an excuse to talk about my hair and how much I love it.

Okay, maybe it is just a little bit. But, it keeps getting in the way when I'm snuggling! Keep in mind, I tend to snuggle a lot. I hope you do too. But when I snuggle, I have to put it up or else I feel like I'm going to suffocate somebody if I'm a little spoon! And generally, I am ridiculously fond of my big spoons, and I prefer them...well...alive. (Necrophilia+spooning for the lose. Just in case you were wondering. Ew. Gross gross gross.) Think about Rapunzel with her ridiculously long braid. How much would it suck to be her big spoon? Um, SO MUCH. Her hair would be like having a boa constrictor to cuddle with, beyond just an adorable princess. That's pretty sucky. No one wants to cuddle a boa constrictor and a princess. At least, no sane person.

So what all of this boils down to is that having a little spoon with copious amounts of curls (or straight locks) can be a tricky thing.

Anywho, I thought I'd provide some words of pseudo-wisdom about hair angst.

Ponytails are your friend, as are buns. However, they can form a barrier between you and your big spoon if not done so as to allow for forthcoming physical contact. No one wants to stick their face into a bun on the back of your head (Especially if you have bobby pins. Safety first, dear spoons.). So, plan ahead. Use a ponytail holder. You can also adjust your hair depending on what side you're lying on. You're smart utensils. I'm sure you can figure this sort of thing out.

Or, you can tuck your hair out of the way, opposite of the direction of your big spoon's lovely face, and if you end up getting tangled or your hair pulled in some weird way, you can always communicate this to your big spoon very kindly, and he/she will certainly adjust for you. If not, then honey, you need to find yourself a more accommodating big spoon. You should be comfortable enough with anybody your spooning with to ask for such adjustments though. Being not in pain is a good thing, and it's especially a good thing when the point of what you're doing is inducing general comfort and happiness.

Or, if you're really that intense about your spooning, you can just shave your head. But I'm pretty intense about my spooning, and I damn sure ain't doing that. See, that's how serious I am. I've reverted to my mother tongue (Southerner), in order to express how much I do not want to shave my head.

Also, for long and short haired spoons alike, delightful smelling shampoo is definitely a plus. If you're spooning with someone regularly, they will generally come to know and love your shampoo scent, so it helps if it's gosh darn delicious to begin with. (Ew, I just ended a sentence with a preposition. But I'm lazy. So deal with it.)

Happy spooning!