I'm pretty sure Sleeping Beauty must have had a killer case of morning mouth. Never mind the dragon outside the castle; no fairy's spell could manage to keep a princess' breath Listerine fresh for 100 years. So when her prince found her and woke her with a kiss, I really doubt it was as magical as Disney makes it seem to be. In fact, it would probably be pretty disgusting.
And she'd probably suck at spooning. If I'd slept in one position for literally ages, I'm pretty sure I would struggle with being an accommodating sleep-mate when my ideal life-partner suddenly appeared and woke me up, let alone accomplishing the feat of sleep-spooning.
So don't be a sleeping beauty and try to be a good spoon-sleeper. Here're my thoughts on how to make that happen:
Spontaneous snuggle-sleep is a good thing. If you're so comfortable with someone that you just drift off naturally, (A) clearly you've got a good spoon there, hang on to him/her, and (B) sweet dreams!
Already be super comfortable with the person you're sleeping next to, and be comfortable enough to rearrange if need be. Sleep-spooning is only a good thing if you don't wake up with a crick in your neck. I would recommend just adopting your favorite awake spooning position (whatever hand holdings/leg-layerings/hair situations etc. that you prefer) and just letting yourself fully relax in that position and drift off.
You're probably going to have to learn to sleep next to someone, unless you're either so exhausted it just happens naturally or you magically can sleep next to him/her and sleep well. Give yourself time; there's definitely a learning curve. Enjoy the process of learning! As School House Rock says, it's great to learn, 'cause knowledge is power!
Also, blankets are optional. (Also, clothing is optional, but that's a different story entirely.) It's really easy to get overheated sleeping this way; being curled up together tends to result in a lot of shared body heat. In my opinion, the electric blanket is a definite no-no unless you live in arctic fox friendly environments...or unless it's just really ridiculously cold some nights. Layers are your friends; you can always throw the top layer off if need be (so maybe you can consider them your fair-weather friends). Or, if you get chilly, you can always add another layer.
Dreams also create another interesting situation. I know if I have a bad dream and I'm sleeping in your arms, I'll probably wake you up, either when I jolt awake or because I lie there all panicky for a couple of minutes and I get tense (and it's pretty easy to tell when you're suddenly spooning someone who is absolutely rigid with post-nightmare panic, however brief it may be). And I'll feel super awful about it, because I don't want to wake somebody sleeping soundly up with my crazy accidental panic! But then I'll go back to sleep. It's obnoxious; even I admit it. Or sometimes, you have a cold and you just can't help coughing, or maybe you always wake up at 2 am and sneeze or something (that I don't do). The moral of this story: people have weird sleep habits. Everybody's got one. Hopefully you're comfortable enough with your spoon that your sleep quirks won't annoy them too much and vice versa, or that you can at least articulate to them if they're driving you crazy with their obsessive need to reset the alarm clock at 4 am or something. Otherwise, you might want to re-evaluate your spoonship (spoon-relationship), be it platonic or romatic or something else entirely. But that's just my opinion on that one and a friendly suggestion at best. You do what you want! :)
Happy spooning, and sweet dreams!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, February 28, 2010
I'm big on basking.
Honestly, spooning has very little to do with romance in my personal experience. I spoon with a great number of my friends. They're like stuffed animals, that you can actually talk to and that have actual body heat. And that have less fuzz.
Though if you squeeze too tight, they do admittedly experience pain, so don't do that.
And then there are the people who are better than stuffed animals for cuddling. Okay, so almost anyone is. But there are the people towards whom you're romantically inclined (most people don't feel romantically inclined towards stuffed animals...though there is that pretty creeptastic phenomenon with the Japanese pillow dolls.), and being romantically inclined can take spooning to a different level.
Anyways, to borrow a term from middle school, spooning with someone you "like-like" is just a little more fun. (Note: urban dictionary, that esteemed source of knowledge, defines "like-like" as more than a crush but less than love.) It could involve more physical contact; it could be the same as spooning with one of your other friends except for it makes you smile a little bit extra inside.
Also, it could involve less clothing. Though for me, that's really not the case. What's a little spooning in your underwear between good friends? At least in my book, that's a fun way to spend a bizarre evening. And I swear no alcohol was involved. It did involve a bunny...and a cat...and pancakes...but no alcohol! Clothing-optional/minimal-ness if of course always your own personal call (and just because you can never hear this too many times- you are always entitled to say no or change your mind. Anyone who ever tells you or makes you feel otherwise needs to GTFO and is not worthy of spooning with you. I pinky-promise. And I don't break pinky-promises. They're fricking sacred. Check out this wikipedia article if you don't believe me. It includes what I consider The Laws of the Pinky Promise.).
There are more ways to show you like somebody than with a lack of clothing anyways. You can always opt for kisses, hugs, or just bask in the happiness. I'm big on basking. I'd totally recommend it.
So happy spooning!
Though if you squeeze too tight, they do admittedly experience pain, so don't do that.
And then there are the people who are better than stuffed animals for cuddling. Okay, so almost anyone is. But there are the people towards whom you're romantically inclined (most people don't feel romantically inclined towards stuffed animals...though there is that pretty creeptastic phenomenon with the Japanese pillow dolls.), and being romantically inclined can take spooning to a different level.
Anyways, to borrow a term from middle school, spooning with someone you "like-like" is just a little more fun. (Note: urban dictionary, that esteemed source of knowledge, defines "like-like" as more than a crush but less than love.) It could involve more physical contact; it could be the same as spooning with one of your other friends except for it makes you smile a little bit extra inside.
Also, it could involve less clothing. Though for me, that's really not the case. What's a little spooning in your underwear between good friends? At least in my book, that's a fun way to spend a bizarre evening. And I swear no alcohol was involved. It did involve a bunny...and a cat...and pancakes...but no alcohol! Clothing-optional/minimal-ness if of course always your own personal call (and just because you can never hear this too many times- you are always entitled to say no or change your mind. Anyone who ever tells you or makes you feel otherwise needs to GTFO and is not worthy of spooning with you. I pinky-promise. And I don't break pinky-promises. They're fricking sacred. Check out this wikipedia article if you don't believe me. It includes what I consider The Laws of the Pinky Promise.).
There are more ways to show you like somebody than with a lack of clothing anyways. You can always opt for kisses, hugs, or just bask in the happiness. I'm big on basking. I'd totally recommend it.
So happy spooning!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Good, the Bad, and the Body Wash
When I get all my work done in a timely manner, I get to use "the good soap." The good soap is Caress' Tahitian Renewal body wash. It smells ridiculously amazing, sweet, with hints of pomegranate and Tahitian palm milk. After a shower, I smell absolutely delicious, if I do say so myself. If I haven't finished my work in a timely manner, I have to use "the bad soap," which still smells pretty good, but it's a little bit inferior. It has a very strong sent of pomegranate and mango which can be a little overwhelming, but ultimately is still enjoyable.
Obviously, the point of this post isn't that olfactory motivation can be helpful in preventing procrastination -although that is incredibly true. No, my point is that having your own delightful personal scent can make you an even more enjoyable spooning partner. From Polo Black (one of my own personal weaknesses) to Axe (which is sometimes delightful and sometimes completely overpowering/downright disgusting smelling) to plain old Dove soap to GAP So Pink, find what works for you and makes you feel happy. It could be soap, cologne, perfume, shampoo, even whatever laundry detergent you wash your clothes in. You'll enjoy smelling delightful, and I'm sure your spooning buddies will appreciate it, too.
On that note, bathe. Regularly. And wash your clothes. Regularly. No one wants to spoon with someone who smells like Oscar the Grouch, even if he is grumpily adorable.
Happy spooning! (And smelling!)
Obviously, the point of this post isn't that olfactory motivation can be helpful in preventing procrastination -although that is incredibly true. No, my point is that having your own delightful personal scent can make you an even more enjoyable spooning partner. From Polo Black (one of my own personal weaknesses) to Axe (which is sometimes delightful and sometimes completely overpowering/downright disgusting smelling) to plain old Dove soap to GAP So Pink, find what works for you and makes you feel happy. It could be soap, cologne, perfume, shampoo, even whatever laundry detergent you wash your clothes in. You'll enjoy smelling delightful, and I'm sure your spooning buddies will appreciate it, too.
On that note, bathe. Regularly. And wash your clothes. Regularly. No one wants to spoon with someone who smells like Oscar the Grouch, even if he is grumpily adorable.
Happy spooning! (And smelling!)
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Chosen One
I was putting some spoons away in a drawer today, and I got really irritated at them because they refused to stay in their tidy vertical stack, especially when I attempted to close the drawer with a supa sexy hip bump.
The more spoons I added, the more easily my leaning tower of spoons fell. It was disappointing.
Then, I remembered the weird way I used to stack spoons when I was six.
I would take them so that all the bowl parts lined up, but let every other handle go towards the right so that the handles, which are generally pretty thick, wouldn't make the spoon tower as tall.
You heard me right - at age 6, I had a strategy to perfect spoon stacking stability. And yes, I know what you're thinking. Clearly, Lil Spoon must be The Chosen One, the one who can bring harmony to silverware drawers all over the world, the one we've been waiting for since the 13th Century.
Lol. If only a skill that useless could contribute to the betterment of the world.
Anyways, I stopped doing this because my mother designated me as The Chosen One (okay, as the family spoon stacker), and what six-year-old kid wants to be the spoon stacker and get called away from whatever Boxcar Children book or Arthur episode she is engrossed in just to stack spoons, which takes a good bit of time and patience when you're six and not particularly coordinated? Not I.
So what does this have to do with you, an actual human being who probably just puts spoons in a drawer like a normal person? Not a lot actually, beyond my admitting that like arranging spoons in a drawer, spooning with multiple people can get complicated. Let's face it-human beings who spoon have way more appendages than just the metal eating utensil. Things get crazy - too many legs/arms/appendages everywhere, a tremendous amount of body heat getting produced, various issues involving the height of your spoons...BUT if you take the time to strategize a little bit as you start spooning, it can be much more enjoyable. If you're spooning with a lot of people, you can organize by height. You can organize by couple if you're spooning with a bunch of dating people (which can get awkward at times, especially if you're the only single person or something - thus the strategizing can help you make it less awkward for yourself.)
Plan ahead. Channel your inner boyscout and be prepared! And then, channel your inner gymnast, and be flexible (both figuratively and literally!)!
The more spoons I added, the more easily my leaning tower of spoons fell. It was disappointing.
Then, I remembered the weird way I used to stack spoons when I was six.
I would take them so that all the bowl parts lined up, but let every other handle go towards the right so that the handles, which are generally pretty thick, wouldn't make the spoon tower as tall.
You heard me right - at age 6, I had a strategy to perfect spoon stacking stability. And yes, I know what you're thinking. Clearly, Lil Spoon must be The Chosen One, the one who can bring harmony to silverware drawers all over the world, the one we've been waiting for since the 13th Century.
Lol. If only a skill that useless could contribute to the betterment of the world.
Anyways, I stopped doing this because my mother designated me as The Chosen One (okay, as the family spoon stacker), and what six-year-old kid wants to be the spoon stacker and get called away from whatever Boxcar Children book or Arthur episode she is engrossed in just to stack spoons, which takes a good bit of time and patience when you're six and not particularly coordinated? Not I.
So what does this have to do with you, an actual human being who probably just puts spoons in a drawer like a normal person? Not a lot actually, beyond my admitting that like arranging spoons in a drawer, spooning with multiple people can get complicated. Let's face it-human beings who spoon have way more appendages than just the metal eating utensil. Things get crazy - too many legs/arms/appendages everywhere, a tremendous amount of body heat getting produced, various issues involving the height of your spoons...BUT if you take the time to strategize a little bit as you start spooning, it can be much more enjoyable. If you're spooning with a lot of people, you can organize by height. You can organize by couple if you're spooning with a bunch of dating people (which can get awkward at times, especially if you're the only single person or something - thus the strategizing can help you make it less awkward for yourself.)
Plan ahead. Channel your inner boyscout and be prepared! And then, channel your inner gymnast, and be flexible (both figuratively and literally!)!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
My Hips Don't Lie
Okay, so regular posting epic fail. Life - it happens.
Anywho, I'm attempting to hop back on the blogging train! After all, spooning happens on a daily basis, so my blogging about it should, too.
Essentially, hips are important, especially if you're a girl or you're spooning with a girl (and in some cases both apply!) Although I know some gentlemen - especially some super spicy salsa dancers - with particularly fabulous hips, I think of hips as a primarily female feature. Granted, everybody walking around has hips, but the sheer sexy curviness of hips lies primarily in woman's domain in my personal (and admittedly heavily biased - but it's my blog, that's kind of the point) opinion.
Let's face it - hips are important. Even Barbie has semi-functional hips, even though her knees don't work. Sure, her boobs are so big and her feet so wacky that she would fall over and be completely immobile if she were a real person, but hey, she can sit and do the splits and work some hot little dresses because she's got those hips! Not only do hips let your legs move, but they're sexy. How could we be expected to shake it like a Polaroid picture without hips? Would Shakira be the goddess she is and would Elvis clocks be nearly as awesome without hips?
Ummm...NO!
So how do hips work into spooning? Hips create the perfect groove for resting a big spoon's over arm. Furthermore, hips allow you to master The Leap if you're a big spoon. And now you're wondering what's The Leap, right? The Leap is short for The Leg-Wrap, and furthermore it constitutes a big leap in comfort levels between spoons. I'm not talking a Batman leaping between buildings type leap. I'm talking more one of those awkward person-on-a-trampoline type leaps, small, but taking a little consideration and thought.
If you're comfortable with your little spoon, you can opt to wrap your leg over their body, pulling them closer. This takes a wee bit of flexibility, but it's totally worth it. And if you're really bendy (like Bend It Like Beckam bendy), you can opt to put your leg up and over your little spoon's hip! This can get uncomfortable after a while, but it can be nice. It's also pretty intimate, because it gets you really close, and by "you" I mean "your pelvises." So...on that note, enjoy!
Happy spooning!
Anywho, I'm attempting to hop back on the blogging train! After all, spooning happens on a daily basis, so my blogging about it should, too.
Essentially, hips are important, especially if you're a girl or you're spooning with a girl (and in some cases both apply!) Although I know some gentlemen - especially some super spicy salsa dancers - with particularly fabulous hips, I think of hips as a primarily female feature. Granted, everybody walking around has hips, but the sheer sexy curviness of hips lies primarily in woman's domain in my personal (and admittedly heavily biased - but it's my blog, that's kind of the point) opinion.
Let's face it - hips are important. Even Barbie has semi-functional hips, even though her knees don't work. Sure, her boobs are so big and her feet so wacky that she would fall over and be completely immobile if she were a real person, but hey, she can sit and do the splits and work some hot little dresses because she's got those hips! Not only do hips let your legs move, but they're sexy. How could we be expected to shake it like a Polaroid picture without hips? Would Shakira be the goddess she is and would Elvis clocks be nearly as awesome without hips?
Ummm...NO!
So how do hips work into spooning? Hips create the perfect groove for resting a big spoon's over arm. Furthermore, hips allow you to master The Leap if you're a big spoon. And now you're wondering what's The Leap, right? The Leap is short for The Leg-Wrap, and furthermore it constitutes a big leap in comfort levels between spoons. I'm not talking a Batman leaping between buildings type leap. I'm talking more one of those awkward person-on-a-trampoline type leaps, small, but taking a little consideration and thought.
If you're comfortable with your little spoon, you can opt to wrap your leg over their body, pulling them closer. This takes a wee bit of flexibility, but it's totally worth it. And if you're really bendy (like Bend It Like Beckam bendy), you can opt to put your leg up and over your little spoon's hip! This can get uncomfortable after a while, but it can be nice. It's also pretty intimate, because it gets you really close, and by "you" I mean "your pelvises." So...on that note, enjoy!
Happy spooning!
Friday, October 16, 2009
the lonely epidermis and Cher
Please forgive me. I'm exhausted, and I got my H1N1 mist today which is making me feel kind of gross right now. If you consider this post inferior to the others in any way, (A) my apologies, and (B) just enjoy the excuse to laugh at me even more than usual because I'm not only as ridiculous as usual but also more stupid than usual.
For tonight, in keeping with last night's sexiness theme, and due in part to the fact that I just watched it: Moonstruck is an incredible movie. If you haven't seen Cher in her Oscar winning role, definitely take it under advisement. Not only is it perhaps one of the sexiest things I've ever seen (and I've seen some sexy things people), but you can watch it again and again because it's simply that incredible. It has a myriad of fine details (the hand in the airport, the wedding dress in the window, etc) that make it even more amazing each time you watch it. It's a very snuggle worthy movie, filled with scenes of old people romance, moon gazing, and an adorable old man with dogs. Who doesn't love an old man with dogs and old people romance? Very few people. Then again, I have a particular fondness for old people in general. I think they're super awesome. Nicholas Cage and Cher are phenomenal, with witty dialogue that you can easily adopt into a myriad of handy life mantras. Heck yes. I know it makes me feel super cuddly, and since it's plot is fairly simple and can be enjoyed even when you're at minimal capacity in regard to your intelligence (like me right now), it's a perfect choice for spooning!
Moonstruck gets 6 spoons up (6 being the size of an average dinner table, and thus an optimal number of spoons, assuming you are not using iced tea spoons, which I must acknowledge is a VERY southern thing.).
Anywho, I'm thinking after I finish going through various body parts and opinions and if I can't get my i-Tunes fixed, I'll go for an exploration of spoon worthy movies. It's definitely an option!
Happy spooning (watch Moonstruck!)!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sexiness Happens
How epic is that screen cap? SO epic. That's from a conversation I had with one of my guy friends the other night. I love it. I want it on t-shirts, with a big "LOL" on the back. But why is this screen cap super appropriate? Today I'm blogging about spooning and sexiness!You see, I totally spazzed out the other night because one of my guy friends told me that spooning is ALWAYS about sex.
Not to go all first grader on you guys, but ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. No. Not everything is about sex. But he says if you're snuggling with guys, it's "always" about sex (ironic considering he'd said he wanted to snuggle the night before when I talked to him). I found this icky. It's so icky that I'm not even going to use a more grownup word like "disgusting," "repulsive," or "revolting" to refer to it. It's just plain icky.
I don't think snuggling is about sex. Sure it most definitely CAN be. But not always, and not necessarily. But I just like being close to people and all physically wrapped up in them as much as I tend to be intellectually and emotionally. And it can still be somewhat sexy. I mean, let's face it, I only spoon with sexy people. It's a requirement. JK. Kind of. Not really. (I promise, I'm not really that shallow. I just happen to know loads of super sexy people.) And when you have a bunch of sexy people together, it's just naturally sexy. It's the way of the world. But that doesn't make it necessarily erotic or anything. And it's not like forthcoming sexual exploits are implied by any means, and it's not like sexy times are the goal. We just exude sexiness, and as we all know, sexiness happens.
So what have we learned? Sexy people are sexy. Spooning with them is naturally sexy, but in a more "that's hot" kind of way rather than a "sexy times are imminent" kind of way.
Now, you can totally take it to that level with a little extra touching and a little less clothing, but that's your prerogative, and that's when it stops being sexy spooning and goes to sporking.
Ofcourse, in honor of today's super sexy post, I'm rocking out to my super sexy theme song by David Guetta featuring Akon.
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